Fraser From Iraq

Well, first the reader should reference my Memorial Day post. All comments there apply here for this 4th of July post, specifically about not receiving enough emails. (!)

[Try Fraser here. - ed.]

Here’s the funny part of July 4th in The Sandbox - really nothing changes. We’ve had red, white, and blue decorations up in the chow hall since Memorial Day. No kidding. They decided to keep the decorations up because Memorial Day, Flag Day, and 4th of July are back to back to back. So it’s been red, white and blue for quite sometime. It’s hard to actually identify a real holiday since we’ve seen it everyday.

I’ve had people ask me if we are having parades and such scheduled for these events. Trust me, there are no parades here.

The holidays go by almost unnoticed, except for lack of emails. And that only reminds us that the people back home have something better to do than sit down at a computer and write us about how much fun they are having. Believe me we’re not upset hearing about the fun. We’re glad everyone back home is having a good time and not thinking about us for a couple of days. But we do miss the emails. Hell, we’d be having a good time back home also if we were there.

But again we wonder if people are having so much fun with the days off that they’ve forgot the meaning of the holiday. Forgot the men and women that have sacrificed everything to win and maintain our freedom?

I hate to get sappy, but it does seem that something gets lost in the translation thru CNN. Everyday here there are thousands of Americans, far, far away from home and their loved ones, taking care of business. Sure they do it because it is their job. But it seems that people back home forget that they do it for them. They don’t wait around for a thank you letter, a bonus check, or a pat on the back. They just do their jobs and carry out the mission, day or night.

Anyway, if you run into a person in uniform, shake their hand. Tell em thanks. It will not be expected, especially these days, but it will be appreciated. Happy 4th of July! Have fun at the BBQ and have a beer for us.

- J

Lets talk about living in a Tent versus a Box.

A Box is small, about 120 square feet. It has its own air conditioner, room for two bunk beds, and two stand up lockers. It has a door. It is elevated above the ground, so not a lot of bugs crawling in your room, such as scorpions, camel spiders and ants. There are three Boxes made out of one trailer, so you share walls. The Box is hard wired 220v. (I think America is the only country not 220v. Why? In Kindergarten they told me we were all going metric. I’m still waiting. I guess it’s nice to be different?).

[J- See voltage history here and here. Metrication controversy article is located here. – ed.]

Anyway, back to the Box. A Box has its own air conditioner. It’s like your own personal oasis; a cold dark cave in a world of 115 degree Fahrenheit (46 degree Celsius) sand tsunamis. A Box does not have water. It’s a dry Box. A wet Box does have water, including a sink, shower and toilet. (A wet Box is better than a dry Box …… but I digress). A Box has a window - you don’t use the window. In fact, you tape over the window so you cannot see outside. It makes the cave that much cooler since we all sleep during the day.

The Box is awesome. It’s your home away from home. The Box is insulated for both sound and temperature. Outside the Box it’s 115 degrees, inside the Box it’s 68 degrees. (Do the math - inside is better.) When you get in the Box you really don’t want to leave the Box. It’s basically a really quite dark cold place, in the middle of a really bright sandy hot place.

A Tent is about 800 square feet. It has an air conditioner. It is roomy. Scratch that. With 8-10 guys in the Tent, it isn’t roomy. It comes with its own bathroom, except it is located 100 meters away from the Tent. A Tent has a door with a zipper. The zipper is loud. A zipper is good for jeans, but it isn’t good as a door.

We sleep during the day. Inside the Tent it is 70 degrees (nice), outside the Tent it is 115 degrees. When the electricity goes out or the air conditioner shuts down, the temperature outside the Tent seems cooler than the temperature inside Tent. The walls in a Tent are thin almost like canvas - no, exactly like canvas. Canvas is good for making tennis shoes. It’s not such a good material for a bedroom wall.

The Tent does have noise installation; it is called “earplugs”. The Tent sways back and fourth in the wind making nice white noise, kind of like a baseball bat hitting your skull. There is a lot of dust in the Tent. Dust is bad. You really don’t want to walk around a Tent in your bare feet. Tents have holes in them, and holes let things in. “Things” are also known as: camel spiders, scorpions, ants and one of the worst enemies, sunlight.

In a Box you have a bed to sleep on. In a Tent you have a cot to sleep on. We were lucky. We had a hybrid - a cot with a mattress on it. It was good as long as the mattress stayed on the cot. That meant don’t lean too much to any one side or you could end up on the ground, in the dust, with the bugs.

Bottom Line; Boxes are better than Tents - J

Alright. The last time we were out here the entertainment was The Sopranos. We would have “together-time” watching the series. A bunch of pilots sitting around glued to the TV, wondering who the hell Tony was going to swack next. And as all good times must come to an end, we have likewise watched the unfulfilling melancholy end to that series.

This time out we have an infatuation with a series called Rescue Me. It is shown on FX Channel back home. It stars Dennis Leary, who is in the FDNY, and it is set in the years following 911. It goes through the loss of their buddies in the World Trade Center attack, and how the firemen in his house cope with the loss and constant memory of 911. It is the most dysfunctional show I have ever seen; alcoholism, drug abuse, divorce, loose morals, chubby chasing, and hallucination. Caligula had nothing on this show. We enjoy watching it because it makes our lives over here almost seem normal. We have blown through the first three seasons, and have preordered the 4th season which will be released in early June.

The other shows we are watching - mostly individually are the Lost series (ABC), 24, and I just ordered the first three seasons of The Shield.

Here’s a little side note. I ordered the three seasons of The Shield two weeks ago. I received my conformation email the next day and shipping date showed as that next day. Here is where the mail over here enters the picture. I received season three within the week. But I have not received season one or two yet. THEY WERE ALL SHIPPED THE SAME DAY! Now what do we do? Go ahead and watch season three? Or wait for the arrival of the first two seasons, with a delivery date of “WHO THE HELL KNOWS”???? (Any and all suggestions should be sent to the editor as soon as possible.)

When we are not flying, or getting ready to fly, or fighting amongst ourselves during the workday, our pastimes here consist of working out, reading, or watching DVDs and Armed Forces Network (AFN American Forces Network ® is a registered trademark of the U.S. Department of Defense.).

[J – The AFN Iraq web site reminds me of a poster from one of the weekly concerts I attended at the original Kinetic Playground in Chicago back in the '60s. Hope you guys are taking it a little easier than back in those days. – ed]

We actually watched Oprah last night for almost 15 minutes until one of the pilots said that Oprah has mind control over all her female audiences, and that if she told his mother and sister to kill all her male relatives, he and his father would most certainly be dead. We quickly changed the channel so we wouldn’t be pulled in by her Jedi Mind Tricks. (Dr. Phil is just the male version of the Oprah).

Back to the topic; work out, shower, sleep, fly, watch DVDs, AFN, read, fight with each other, email, fight with each other, and complain. But the beauty is that as dysfunctional a family as we are here, we are nowhere near the level of dysfunction as the family of that freaking firehouse in Rescue Me. You all should watch Rescue Me, but start at season one. And no matter how screwed up you think your family is, you will come out thinking you have perfect nuclear family.

And if you are reading this RON FERGIE - the FBI is looking for you. Anyone who has time should email my Army buddy who is currently on set filming Broke Back Mountain 2.

- J